Ending Conversations the Funniest Way Possible

So you’re stuck in a conversation and you can’t escape?  We’ve all been there.  This week, hotlou could hardly contain his excitement as he shares perhaps the funniest social experiment in history.  And the lessons you learn from this episode might just help you escape that rambler at the office, at your front door, or wherever the non-stop talker in your life frequently traps you.  Even if you can’t escape them, at lease you’ll learn about ending conversations in the funniest way possible.

Ending Conversations Politely

Ending Conversations Hilariously

Inspired by a recent post on reddit on how to end conversations politely, this week’s episode is inspired not by the classic ways to exit, which include:

• Discreetly order an Uber and leave when it arrives
• “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you, I’m going to circulate around the room now”
• Just walk away and say “I’ll be back” with no other explanation
• “I don’t mean to interrupt but –” followed by the interruption and that you have to go

Instead of these polite mechanisms, a comment 3 levels down from one of the less popular comments shares perhaps the funniest social experiment ever.  Interestingly, as these show notes are being written, the comment was the reply to a reply that has since been deleted, which reduces the visibility of the comment dramatically within Reddit.

Ending Conversations Hilariously

Here below is most of the comment:

You can also do this with people who knock at your door trying to sell you [redacted expletive] or Johos. It’s my favourite [sic] thing to do, I relish in these moments and are some of my fondest memories. Right so one of these guys are at your door and they’re off on one, rabbiting on, and you acknowledge them. They suck up that attention and it spurs them on, so they think they have a possible lead.

 

Now while they’re talking, you very, very and I can’t stress this enough, very slowly close the door. These guys have amazing contact and just try and hold it with them, don’t worry about coming off as a creepy, these people are robots. Keep slowly closing the door 1/2 a millimetre [sic] at a time. Soon it will just be them and your eyeballs peering through a crack with them 100% into their script still. Now slowly turn the door handle, so as not to make a noise while closing the door whilst still closing it extremely slowly to the point of your pupils gazing through the smallest of cracks, then close the door completely.

 

Now quickly dart to your window and peek at them! They have the oddest expression, it’s as if they’re questioning how long they have been staring at this door. Have they been speaking to anyone? Have they just been teleported to a random door? Is this a new universe? Do this perfectly and you can pat yourself on the back because you just put them in the [redacted expletive] twilight zone.

Offhand, the author was likely British, so the [sic] was probably unnecessary.  Still fun to low-key dis a Brit, though, amirite? A safe comment at this point since the podcast is officially at 0 downloads in the U.K.  You 3 Australians, though, you are loved.

When You Can’t End Conversations

Oh, and for those who don’t get regularly door-knocked, the author also offered this:

Then start opening your mouth very, very slowly. So slow they dont notice it opening, see how far you can open it. It’s a fun way to pass an inescapable conversation, I shit you not, many people don’t notice because in their minds the world revolves around them and they can’t afford to acknowledge (subconsciously as well) your game and draw attention away from themselves.

Sure, it won’t end the conversation necessarily, but it sure is fun to see how wide you can open your mouth!

And standby for future episodes of the hotlou show to learn about the good guy discount social experiment.  Maybe even you can slowly open your mouth as you listen to the episode, just as Mike did and victimized Lou in this episode.

Use the Interruption Matrix

the interruption matrix

And in an effort to prevent this, it’s worth noting that the interruption matrix should be a part of everyone’s work philosophy.

Each interruption can be gauged on its urgency and importance:

• If it’s important, but not urgent, it can probably wait
• And if it’s urgent, but not important, it probably isn’t worth the interruption
• And if it’s neither, don’t victimize your coworkers

The workforce of America implores you. Use this matrix before interrupting someone in the midst of work.

Subscribe to the hotlou show and rate 5 stars

If you can’t rate the show 5 stars because you’re listening on Google Play (thanks a lot, celebrity listeners Sergey and Harrison Ford!), then invite a friend to listen and subscribe!  Or heck, even if you can rate the show, you should invite a friend anyway!

Also, listen to the hotlou show on Spotify!  Many Spotify listeners have been saying it’s a great way to subscribe and listen.  Plus, expect some fun experiments in that channel in the future!

Oh, and have you liked hotlou.com on Facebook yet?  The page is sharing episode announcements and some social experiments may or may not be happening there right now.  Check it out!

And of course, thanks as always to our gracious sponsor, Dad Jokes Daily: